It is with profound sadness that I reflect on the passing of Rush Limbaugh. For those of us who were among his earliest listeners, having Rush on the air was taken as a given. …

The news in blurbs

The news in blurbs

The news in blurbs

Last updated: 15:17 eastern

Disclaimer: The following is satire VATICAN CITY — It was announced by Cardinal Mino Rele, that the beloved giver of colorful eggs for nearly two millennia, the Easter Bunny, died early Thursday morning due to complications from a COVID-19 infection. Born in 33 A.D. and given the birth-name Rabbitus Passoverstein…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Having formally announced the suspension of his campaign for the Democratic nomination, Sen. Bernie Sanders’ campaign announced on Thursday the sale of the “Feel the Bern” slogan to the pharmaceutical multinational, Pfizer, for an undisclosed amount of money. The sale will allow Pfizer to incorporate the “Feel the Bern” slogan into the advertising campaigns of their most popular over-the-counter brands, such as the hemorrhoidal cream, Preparation-H.

In a very “soup nazi” fashion, on Thursday, the Kremlin announced that they have no plans to talk to President Trump or the Saudi Arabian government about the oil market and potential production cuts. “NO oil talks for you!” Reference: Putin has no plans to talk oil with Trump, Saudis on Thursday: Kremlin MOSCOW (Reuters) - Russian President Putin has no plans as of Thursday to discuss oil markets with U.S. President…www.reuters.com

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a surprise announcement on Thursday morning, Fed chairman Jerome Powell announced a new program aimed at dumping more printed money into the economy. The program will issue ATM cards to all American citizens, legal residents, illegal aliens, ghosts, pets (weighing more than 3 pounds), and stuffed…